Recently Neonfiona made a video about body image and loving yourself, it really got me thinking about my own views on the topic and I wanted to just add a few more points onto it.
We did an exercise in university where we had to say what would be the worst insult for us to hear, and straight away out of my mouth came the word “Fat” I wondered where this mentality came from. I am not a slave to teen magazines, I couldn’t care less about the latest fad diet and frankly I find the idea of detoxing on watermelon for a week insane. It’s easy to blame it on the media but part of me thinks as humans we re-enforce the ideas they sell us. I personally think that most of my body issues come from hanging around with people who care too much about those kind of things. I believe that although it is important to love yourself, others can have a massive impact and that it is important to find people who accept you for you, and not to try fit into anyone’s ideals.
I think this year especially I have suffered a lot with my weight issues, I’ve always been pretty funny about my size but especially since moving to uni. Last year at my biggest I was a Uk Size 18, weighing in at about 13 and a half stone, I despised the way I looked and I constantly would want to change. In the past year I’ve lost a lot of weight but in the process I’ve become obsessed with the things I never said I would. I would make lists of good and bad foods, and would stress if I ate anything that I knew I shouldn’t and I was a complete nightmare for my friends to cook for. My mentality was that because I was in a new environment, I didn’t want to be “fat sophie” any more, and that I thought that maybe I would find a partner if I lost weight. I genuinely had it in my head that men only like skinny girls, which I think is ridiculous.
For ages I went on thinking like this and I was going crazy over the fact I ate one two many caramel slices. Then one day I was in the swimming baths, and I noticed a little girl pinching at her skin and I began to freak out. How could someone so young, be so concerned about something that DOESN’T MATTER? I felt heart-broken that I’d become this person who cared about something so trivial. So I left and I went and I got a full fat latte and I said “Look sophie you’re going to have to work on this”.
The ridiculous thing is that fat is a part of everyones bodies, something crucial to our survival, I mean you wouldn’t be offended if someone shouted out “Larynx” would you? I was shocked to find this come out of my mouth, that rather than being called stupid or uncultured or mean or a cunt, I was more worried about if someone thought I could fit into topshop skinny jeans. (I can’t, Topshop bar their windows when I arrive with my giant pair). How silly was I to think such a thing?
A person is more than their love handles, more than their wobbly bits, more than their juicy thighs. A person is more than skin and bones, they are fleshy and real and when you sink your teeth into them you can taste all that humany goodness. If a person wants to be a giant, then they can tower above us, if a person wants to fit into those leather pants, let them and if I want to hang around in my bra, with my fat rolls hanging out, eating a bagel and fucking the worlds standards then I will do. Beauty is not about what you had for breakfast.
Fi is a babe and everyone should watch her videos at YouTube.com/user/neonfiona.